Dreams
by martusia
Summary: If you love someone you lost, there's a day you realise how much you miss him and seeing this person is everything, what you're dreaming of. MS


Title: Dreams  
Raiting: PG-13  
Pairing: M/S  
Summary: If you love someone you lost, there's a day you realise how much you miss him and seeing this person is everything, what you're dreaming of. M/S  
Status: One-shot  
Disclaimer: I do not own Prison Break and its characters. They all belongs to Paul T. Scheuring and FOX.  
A/N: It's my first fic about PB and M/S, I really hope you'll like it. That are Sara's thought after 2x13.

I had never expected my dreams to be so simple. I've always dreamed of a big house with a swimming pool, of flying to Thybet, dreamed of forming a happy family with loving husband and bunch of kids. I've always dreamed of many things, but now? I just only dream of seeing you again. And it's all that matters. Nothing seems to be more important, nothing seems to be as much important to dream of it. None house, none flight. You, just you. I just want to touch your face, to look into your eyes, embrace you. To know you're alright. It's not too much, isn't it?

I wish everything was as simple as this dream. I wish you had never been prisoner and we've met by coincidence, maybe in the cafe, just smiling at each other. It would be better way. I wish you wouldn't have to use me for breaking out. Because I know that outside the walls you would never use me. And I wish I couldn't forgive you and just forget about you. Because it just would be so much easier, safier. But even if I know that feeling, what I feel is bringing me into trouble, I don't care. And I just want to know, that everything what I did, through what I put myself, wasn't just for never seeing you again. That's what I'm dreaming of.

I knew you used me. I knew this too well. I knew that I just was the element of the room you needed to be in to prepare escape. The element that trusts you, so you can do whatever you want without any suspicious'. At first. And you were right that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't believe I wasn't only an element. At first. Then, when you escaped, when I heard about you in all possible news, I realised, that I miss you. And remembering all scenes between us, I just couldn't believe that you felt nothing and it was only about the doors and the lock. I started to believe, that it in fact was real. You and me. But there was no 'you and me' anymore.

Yet, we still had a chance. Because 'there was a plan to make all of this right'. Rendezvous in Gila. I remember my dissapointment, when you revealed me this 'plan'. Fly to Panama with you. I remember my dissapointment, because I thought that my love isn't enough to do this - to go away to the middle of nowhere with the man who used me. That love isn't enough to turn my whole world upside down, even if it has already been turned.

So I left. I really thought I knew better and I found better way. But then I realised that you will realise your plan anyway, you'll change your name and there will be good chances for living happily ever after. And it's not that I wanted to be with you, I just didn't want to be without you. I couldn't imagine it - that I would never be able to see you again. But it was too late to fix it. And when you called me this last time I knew something was wrong. I knew this too well.

I was afraid. I was afraid of loosing you again. Because if I lost you I would lost everything. Like I lost everything after your break. I thought I can take it, that you don't mean to me as much as I thought you mean. But I couldn't. And now, everything, what's keeping me alive is my faith and my hope, that we will meet again. And I won't have a chance to screw this. Just as I screwed in Gila.

I don't know why you haven't fly there, why you've decided to run again. And I hope I'm not the reason. Because I don't want to feel I screwed your life. Though, I still need you. It's crazy what's going on with me. I know I've shouldn't been wanting to see you, but I just can't defy to myself - even if I know too well, that you're a fugitive and you can be caught in every minute and in every place. And I thought that's the end.

The end, when I saw you and Lincoln being escorted back to Fox River. I just couldn't imagine our once-a-week meetings through plexi glass. It's not the life with you I was dreaming of. I know, I know perfectly you're a good man. That you didn't want to do everything, what you've done and if jail means a rehabilitation I'm quite sure that you don't need it, especially not this one for your whole life. I know you just wanted to save Lincoln and your running is right. You made me believe both of you are innocent and I know you're right. And I know you'd do everything for him. Because you love him.

I'm not sure if I should fell for you, because it destroyed whole my life, even if I know, I wouldn't help that. And I'm not sure if you should fell for me, if you haven't done it yet - it's just not the part of your perfect plan. No, it's not sarcastic, it's just that I don't want to be the reason to screw all the chances to make it work. But I know that I don't meant to you nothing and you'll do everything to meet us again and convince me to that you're sorry. Just as I will.

Because you it's all I'm dreaming of now.


End file.
